Random thoughts with a spattering of thoughtfulness.

Archive for June, 2017

I’m Sorry

I’d like to apologize for my neglect of this blog. It’s original purpose was to help me create and maintain a writing habit, at which I have epically failed over the past years, but am just now working on again.

I have no excuse other than fear, indecision, and sheer laziness.

According to the VIA Survey on character strengths, my greatest strength is love of learning. While that can certainly be a strength, it is also one of my greatest weaknesses. I use it as an excuse to procrastinate action because there is always more I feel like I need to learn and understand.

Over the past few years, I have changed jobs; started and stopped an associate’s program to support my new career; applied for, was accepted to, and started a graduate program to support my new career; decided this is not the career for me; dropped out of graduate school; and have again returned to my search for work that is meaningful and fulfilling.

The thing is, all I’ve been doing is piling underwear (check out Steve Kamb’s post at NerdFitness.com for reference). All this time, I’ve known what I want to do. I know what work fuels my soul. I alluded to it in my last post here over three years ago. Instead of doing it, I’ve spent years distracting myself. I’ve taken the path of least resistance and the result is that I’m miserable with my current work and full of regret for the work I’ve neglected.

I use my love of learning as a scapegoat for my fear of doing. But, I have to stop. I have to learn by doing regardless of how horrible my initial attempts will be.

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